Birth Story from a First Time Mama
Let me start this off by saying that never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be giving birth in the middle of a global pandemic.
The first 8 months of my pregnancy was generally smooth. We even went on a couple’s trip to Cabo at the end of month 3, and a babymoon to Paris & London around month 5.
Then month 8 hit and the world shut down. By month 9, although I was in good spirits, I knew the following months would not be how I initially imagined.
The PLAN
When I first found out that I was pregnant, I was filled with a lot of mixed emotions. I was excited but also very nervous. In theory, I always saw myself having children one day, but now that the time had come, I was worried about whether or not I was actually ready and equipped for this important job. At the time, hubs has just been laid off, so the financial aspect of bringing a child into the world gave me slight anxiety. Still, we knew that God would provide and we began planning for our new roles as mom and dad.
The first wrench in my plans came in the form of my OBGYN of the last 6 years deciding to move into a teaching career around month 4. Yall, I was SO distraught! It’s so hard to find a doctor that you feel comfortable with and trust completely, so when she broke the news to me, I literally cried in her office. She gave me some recommendations, but I quickly went off in search of a black woman OBGYN in Dallas.
Once I found my doctor, I then searched for a black doula. I always knew I wanted to have the support of a doula during childbirth. I wanted a doula because I wanted the extra physical and emotional support with labor and delivery, the wealth of knowledge they offer, and the experience of advocacy in the event that hubs and I needed it.
After I got acclimated with my new doctor and met my doula, things sort of went back to smooth sailing. As I mentioned, I had an overall enjoyable pregnancy. I never had any weird cravings or morning sickness and aside from being uncomfortable from time to time and pelvic pains when I slept, I felt great through most of the 9 months. I planned to have an unmedicated birth and prayed that I would go into labor naturally. I would labor at home with hubs and my doula until she determined that I was ready to head to the hospital. At the hospital, I would labor without medication with hubs and my doula until it was time to push. Then I would push and Lowe would be here. The end. That was my plan.
Hahahaha…but you know the saying about when we make plans.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED
At 37 weeks, I went in for my routine weekly appointment and my OB had ordered an ultra-sound. Lowe had generally measured small the entire pregnancy but had been growing at her own pace. However, on that morning, her growth had appeared to slow down significantly. When my OB came in and told me that she wanted to induce me on that day,
THAT DAY!
I was hysterical. I hadn’t packed my hospital bag yet. The house was a mess. We didn’t have any meals prepped in the freezer. My hopes of having my labor start naturally was crushed. The chances of me needing medication was now increasing. I was not happy.
After an attempt to calm my fears, my OB sent me to get a no-stress test and get registered to be admitted to the hospital later that night.
During this time, the world had gone on lockdown due to COVID, and I found out that my doula would not be allowed to enter the hospital and support me through my labor. My heart was broken because I couldn’t believe how great and smooth my pregnancy had gone up until then, and now it seemed like my whole plan was falling apart.
Nevertheless, we left the hospital and went home to pack a bag. I called my parents and my doula to let them know what was happening, and then I laid on the couch to rest. I prayed…cried..prayed some more..and cried a little more. By the time it was time for me to head back to the hospital that night, I felt more at peace about what was about to happen. Instead of focusing so much on what I had planned, my prayers shifted to focus on having a positive labor experience and a healthy delivery for me and Lowe.
When I arrived at the hospital, I was given a medication that would ripen my cervix to get prepared for birth. I slept a little that night and the next morning my OB came in and broke my water around 8 a.m. Around 12 p.m., I was given the dreaded pitocin to induce my labor. At that point, it was still my desire to have as much of an unmedicated birth as I could, but the pitocin made my contractions very strong. I labored for 8 hours hoping that I would be able to bypass getting an epidural. I labored on the exercise ball, I walked around the room, I got on all fours..it was intense. The pain of my contractions wouldn’t let up and I had a lot of back pain.
After about 8 hours and no increase in dilation, hubs and my doula (via phone) encouraged me to get an epidural. At that point, I was ready for relief and thankfully the epidural did give me some and I was able to rest.
At some point in the night, my nurse was helping me turn over because I was pretty numb from the epidural, and the needle came out! I had to get the epidural AGAIN!
Yall. At that point, I was so exhausted…I had been in the hospital for over 24 hours. Some time in the wee hours of the morning, my nurse checked my cervix and I had fiiiinally dilated to 10 cm and would soon be ready to start pushing. Because the second epidural I received was pretty strong and had made my lower body very numb, the nurse stopped the epidural so I could regain some feeling to help me push. By the time it was time to push, I could feel all my contractions all over again. With the help of God, hubs, my nurse, and my amazing OB, I pushed for a little over an hour until Lowe made her grand debut.
I’ll save what happened next for another post :-)
If you’re reading this and you’re preparing to be a mama for the first time, here’s a few words of advice:
Find a doctor/midwife you trust and feel comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to interview potential OBS/midwives to see if their philosophies align with how you’d like your care, labor and delivery to take place.
Consider hiring a doula. Although my doula couldn’t be present during my labor due to COVID, she was super supportive throughout the process, answered all of my random questions at various points throughout my pregnancy, and helped hubs coach me through labor.
Make a birth plan, but remain open to pivoting if needed. Due dates are arbitrary anyway. Once I stopped clinging to my plan an surrendered to God’s plan, I was able to be fully present in the experience.
Take care of yourself. People will often say, '“ The goal is just to have a healthy baby.” While that’s true, you matter too! Make sure you, your partner or designated support person will advocate for your needs throughout your pregnancy, labor and delivery.
Check out some of my favorite books that I used throughout my pregnancy: The Mamanatural Week by Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth , What To Expect When You’re Expecting , and Expecting Better
Keep a journal to document everything you’re experiencing. There’s so much I remember about my pregnancy and so much that seems like a blur. It’s such a time of transition that goes by quickly in hindsight. I love these pregnancy journals: Waiting in Wonder (more of a devotional & journal combined) and Growing You Keepsake Journal.
But that’s it. That’s the birth story. Nothing like how I planned, but all in God’s perfect timing.